Olivia has been swimming in a swim club since last October. She is in the "development group" for High Tide Aquatics. Basically that means she is learning the four main strokes, improving her dive, and building endurance, all with the goal of swimming on the swim team. That day arrived in March. A small swim meet was scheduled at the end of the month and the coach felt she was ready to put her acquired and practiced skills to test.
Don is a former swimmer and has been to MANY swim meets in his life but a soccer game prevented him and Grant from attending so Olivia and I were to tackle this next milestone ourselves. During the weeks leading up to it and even the drive there, I didn't realize it was actually going to be a milestone. We both thought we would just drive down, she'd swim a race and we'd go home.
That is not how swim meets work.
You sit and wait and wait and sit all day until your race comes up and then wait and sit and sit and wait until the next race and continue this until all your races are done. It is a lesson in patience, stamina and self-confidence. But let me back up.
We had friends in town for the annual UF Rugby alumni weekend so Olivia really wanted to stay and play with these friends that she doesn't see very often. Not having a clue what to expect at meets, I convinced her that we would be back in plenty of time to do that... I mean, really, how long does it take to swim across the pool a couple times?
On the way down (an hour drive EARLY in the morning) we were discussing what to expect. The coaches never told me the details and I hadn't thought to ask so we both decided (or I convinced her) that it would likely just be one freestyle race - it's her first meet, she is only 6 and new to this, so certainly they wouldn't expect her to do butterfly, right? Will I have to dive off the blocks?? No, not in your first meet. All my answers seemed quite logical to me anyway. So, she was happy and we sang songs and read books the rest of the way.
Upon arrival at 8:00am we noticed lots of people buzzing around and tents (those tailgating kind), coolers, and chairs set up all over - we brought none of those things and why would we? We were only going to be there for an hour or two max. Our water bottles would be enough. I found a mom I knew and we started chatting. The coaches were already busy running around with clipboards and stopwatches. She showed us the "race sheet" and I asked her to find what time Olivia was racing. She scanned and found Olivia's race at 9:37am - the butterfly. Olivia paused and asked her to repeat it... after hearing it the second time she started tearing up... no, not the butterfly, I can't do the butterfly, you said I wouldn't have to do the butterfly...
Uh-oh.
My friend continues to tell us that she then had the backstroke at 10:37am, breastroke at 11:37am and finish off with freestyle at 12:37pm! I'm slowly starting to check into reality at this point - she is doing all the Individual Medley strokes that she has learned and practiced (makes sense) and we aren't going to be here for just an hour or two and we need a tent, chairs and cooler (makes sense). Reality is also setting in for Olivia - she has to swim all four strokes with people watching her and we are going to be here a long time - the tears start to trickle from the well and the self-doubt continues to grow.
Priority one: become cheerleader for Olivia. I did that for awhile and then let her seasoned swim mates take over while I ran to Publix for drinks and food. Upon my return the coaches whisked her off for warmups. I watched her debating them on the reasons she should not get in the pool. (She is good at debating and I constantly tell her that if she doesn't grow up and become a lawyer, her talents will be wasted). I crossed my fingers and just hoped she would do warmups. I was having flashbacks of her first experience on stage (she wouldn't go) and my first experience going off the high dive (see
Just Keep Swimming). At this point if she just got in and did warmups, I'd be happy and consider the day a success.
Success! She got in and started doing warmups! Later one of the coaches told me that Olivia saw another little girl (who is a great swimmer but never performs at the meets) crying and refusing to get in, so Olivia started up. She turned to Olivia and said "I do not expect that from you and will not accept it, now get in." And she did. Huh?... why doesn't that sharp attitude work for me??
After warmups, I gave her big hugs and praise and she was happy. Then the waiting began. And so did the self doubt. And so did the cheerleading. The time neared and I asked the coach to take over while I disappeared into the crowd. Watching her approach and wait her turn at the edge of the pool, I could feel every single butterfly fluttering around in her stomach knowing that there was no way I would have ever done this at this age. Now, certainly. Then, no way.
She walked with her competitors to the edge, bent down in dive position (no blocks. i was right about one thing!) and beep! the buzzer sounded and she dove in!! Her friends were cheering and I was filming. It was not the prettiest butterfly I have seen and maybe on most levels wouldn't even be considered the butterfly but she was doing it. And her fly was flying!! Those little arms were moving. My heart was racing about as fast as hers in that moment. And at the end when she looked up and waved to me, it was my turn to well up with tears.
I went to meet her and as I gave her a big hug, she just burst into tears. I could feel all the anxiety release with each sob. She dried up pretty quickly and I was just beaming. WOW!! You did it!!! Don't you feel great!! I am SOOOO proud of you!! She looks up at me and says "Okay, can we go home now?" Oh boy. Cheerleading, round 3.
This emotional and psychological roller coaster went on for the next two rounds. But each time, she got up to the line and did it. And in fact, she won all of her heats except one. By the last race, no cheerleading was needed and she casually walked right up and was completely relaxed. And when it was all over she was glowing and grinning ear to ear.
The next week she received ribbons for placing in all four strokes. Fifth for three of them and third for the breaststroke!! She was so happy and I was so proud - but mostly because she overcame so much fear, self-doubt, and just plain ol' shaky nerves. It was a great parenting moment for me too. I take pride in my ability to cheerlead and support her through that crazy up and down ride because she can be a tough one to crack - especially by mom. But at the end of the day, it was all her. It was her feet, head and heart that got her to dive into that pool each time. I just got to reap the benefits on the sideline.
I wish I had a video to post but none of them are small enough. Instead, a slide show...
And, he's off...
Yes, that is Don (and his bad back) at the bottom of the pile.
Rugby alumni are called Old Boys for a reason...
Is this the rugby field or the catwalk...
Thank goodness for a playground...
Even Alex got in on the action...
The real fun began (for Jen and I anyway) when we got a babysitter for all of our punks and went out for the night.
This expression never left Howard's face all night...
Whatchu talkin' 'bout...
Hard to believe this sweet face could cause such violence on the field...
A whole lotta man love...
They may be older but they can still out-drink 'em. Don, Howard and Matt were recruited to enter a beer drinking race of sorts - Old Boys vs. Current Team. And they won - by quite a substantial margin too. I videotaped it and I can assure you, it is not for the faint of heart. Here's to the beer race champs...
